Let it be

Do you ever think those people who some time ago were very important to you? Like your ex-boyfriends, former friends, or past colleagues? Do you ever wonder what happened to them and where they are now? Cause I do. Am I the only one?

It may have something to do with the nostalgia that hits me every fall, getting even worse with the winter. When the days get shorter and even at five o'clock it's so dark you can't go outside without a torch (yeah, I grew up in the woods, we didn't have any streetlights...), I always sink into my memories. I start to think of those I once thought would be a part of my life for ever, but about whom I haven't heard anything in a long long time.

Like my first boyfriend. Sometimes I just can't help wondering what's happened to him. I'd like to know what's going on in his life, mainly because of my nostalgia, but that's it. I can't call or text him, cause if I did, I had to have a real conversation, and I don't have enough to say for that. The only thing I'd really like to tell him is that I'm fine nowadays. I'm not such a messed-up emo teen anymore, and I really can be nice and lovable when I'm all right. It's something I'd like him to know, just in case he sometimes thinks of me and still remembers the things that happened long time ago. But then again, I hardly doubt he will.

So I do nothing. But secretly wish that some day I'll bump to him (or any other of my lost ones) on the street and can have a little talk. Big enough to fulfill my curiosity, but small enough to save me from those memories I don't wanna remember anymore.

{from Notebookdoodles}